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Domestic violence involves threats, insults, intimidation, violence, or psychological manipulation by your abuser. It could be from your partner, family member, guardian, or ex-partner. Regardless of your background, you may find yourself in an abusive relationship.
Domestic violence may cause health issues and economic consequences if you don’t find a way out of it early enough. You need to protect yourself from your abuser and find safety. Here are a few things you should do when experiencing domestic violence:
- Get An Apprehended Domestic Violence Order
As a domestic violence victim, you need to get an apprehended domestic violence order, a court order meant for your abuser. You might be wondering what an apprehended domestic violence order is. It typically protects you from further violence by ordering the defendant not to harass, threaten, assault, intimidate or stalk you. The order also exempts them from using social media, texts, or email to make you afraid for safety.
Once you report a case of domestic violence to the police, they could help you apply for an apprehended domestic violence order (ADVO) if you fear for your safety. They’ll update you on its progress and when you should go to court. Also, you can enlist the help of a lawyer who can file the ADVO for you. It’ll be a private application.
You need to be detailed and give evidence of the violence because the court can deny some applications. Your application can be rejected if it is based on false accusations.
If you need immediate protection, the authorities can grant you a temporary, provisional or interim ADVO. A temporary ADVO is served when a police officer determines that you need urgent protection. Then the court can issue a provisional ADVO, which can be served at any time of the day or night, and its effective from then on. If the need arises, the court can issue an interim AVO to extend a provisional ADVO if a final one hasn’t been served yet.
- If You’re Planning To Leave, Don’t Alert Your Abuser
Things may be so bad you want to leave the abusive relationship. However, make your exit plan private because if your abuser knows you’re going, they could hurt you more and stop you from leaving. Tell people you trust, like friends or family members, who know and understand your situation. Once you move, get rid of any hints that may be used to locate you. You may need to start over.
- Stay Out Of Dangerous Places In Your Home
If you’re in a threatening situation in your home, avoid places where your abuser could trap you. This could be your closet, bathroom, or any other room they could confine you in. You may do the following to protect yourself:
- Always stay in a room with large windows and doors so you can easily escape if a physical fight starts.
- Avoid the kitchen when the abuser is around because they can use kitchen knives to hurt you.
- Find a room that locks from the inside, so you can lock your abuser out as you call for help.
Fundamentally, do as much as possible to protect yourself as you call for help.
- Develop A Safety Plan
You need to secure your safety by having a plan in place. You can include the following in your plan:
- Identify the signs of your abuser being upset.
- Identify a safe room in your house with no weapons and with exits.
- Come up with excuses you can use to leave your home.
- Memorize your emergency contacts list.
- Have a support team you can call.
- Always have gas in your car, and hide spare keys where you can easily access them.
- Create an emergency code.
A detailed safety plan keeps you prepared, ensuring you don’t sustain harm at the mercy of the abuser.
- Join A Support Group
Even when you aren’t ready to live the relationship, join a domestic violence survivors support group. You can find someone there to talk to about your situation. They can also teach you a few tricks to survive.
- Call For Help
Today, many people are willing to help you out of a domestic violence crisis. Aside from your trusted friends and loved ones, you may contact any of the following groups:
- A rape crisis or shelter centre can give you housing or any help you need. You can check online for groups near you offering this help.
- Call domestic violence hotlines. They can help you with support and even develop an exit plan.
- Call the police if you’re in immediate danger.
- Talk to your healthcare provider. They have a responsibility to help you once you’re in their emergency room.
Conclusion
The list above isn’t conclusive on what you could do to protect yourself from your abuser. However, it’s the start of a long journey and progress towards your healing journey. Domestic violence can chip away your self-worth and independence. With your abuser controlling you and hauling insults, your self-esteem suffers a blow.